THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING G ROUP
Publ i s hed by the Pengui n G roup
Pengui n G roup (USA) I nc.
375 Huds on Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
REAL COMMUNICATION
On t he al t ar in my hermi t ag e in France are imag es of
Buddha and Jesus, and every t ime I l ig ht incense, I
t ouch bot h of t hem as my sp i ri t ual ancest ors. I can do
t hi s because of cont act wi t h t hese real Chri st ians. When
y ou t ouch someone who aut hent ical ly rep resent s a
t radi t ion, y ou not only t ouch hi s or her t radi t ion, y ou
al so t ouch y our own. Thi s qual i t y i s essent ial for
dialog ue. When p art icip ant s are wi l l ing t o learn from
each ot her, dialog ue t akes p lace just by t hei r being
t og et her . When t hose who rep resent a sp i ri t ual t radi t ion
embody t he essence of t hei r t radi t ion, just t he way t hey
walk, si t , and smi le sp eaks volumes about t he t radi t ion.
In fact , somet imes i t i s more di fficul t t o have a
dialog ue wi t h p eop le in our own t radi t ion t han wi t h
t hose of anot her t radi t ion. M ost of us have suffered
from feel ing mi sunderst ood or even bet ray ed by t hose
of our own t radi t ion. But i f brot hers and si st ers in t he
same t radi t ion cannot underst and and communicat e wi t h
each ot her, how can t hey communicat e wi t h t hose
out side t hei r t radi t ion? For dialog ue t o be frui t ful , we
need t o l ive deep ly our own t radi t ion and, at t he same
t ime, l i st en deep ly t o ot hers. Throug h t he p ract ice of
deep looking and deep l i st ening , we become free, able t o
see t he beaut y and values in our own and ot hers’
t radi t ion.
M any y ears ag o, I recog niz ed t hat by underst anding
y our own t radi t ion bet t er, y ou al so develop increased
resp ect , considerat ion, and underst anding for ot hers. I
had had a naive t houg ht , a kind of p rejudice inheri t ed
from my ancest ors. I t houg ht t hat because Buddha had
t aug ht for fort y -five y ears and Jesus for only t wo or
t hree, t hat Buddha must have been a more accomp l i shed
t eacher . I had t hat t houg ht because I did not know t he
t eaching s of t he Buddha wel l enoug h.
One day when he was t hi rt y -eig ht y ears old, t he
Buddha met King Prasenaj i t of Kosala. The king said,
“ Reverend, y ou are y oung , y et p eop le cal l y ou ‘The
Hig hest Enl ig ht ened One.’ There are holy men in our
count ry eig ht y and ninet y y ears old, venerat ed by many
p eop le, y et none of t hem claims t o be t he hig hest
enl ig ht ened one. How can a y oung man l ike y ou make
such a claim?”
The Buddha rep l ied, “ Y our majest y, enl ig ht enment i s
not a mat t er of ag e. A t iny sp ark of fi re has t he p ower
t o burn down a whole ci t y. A smal l p oi sonous snake
can ki l l y ou in an inst ant . A baby p rince has t he
p ot ent ial i t y of a king . And a y oung monk has t he
cap aci t y of becoming enl ig ht ened and chang ing t he
world.” W e can learn about ot hers by st udy ing
ourselves.
For any dialog ue bet ween t radi t ions t o be deep , we
have t o be aware of bot h t he p osi t ive and neg at ive
asp ect s of our own t radi t ion. In Buddhi sm, for ex amp le,
t here have been many schi sms. One hundred y ears aft er
t he p assing of t he Buddha, t he communi t y of hi s
di scip les divided int o t wo p art s; wi t hin four hundred
y ears, t here were t went y school s; and since t hen, t here
have been many more. Fort unat ely, t hese sep arat ions
have, for t he most p art , not been t oo p ainful , and t he
g arden of Buddhi sm i s now fi l led wi t h many beaut i ful
flowers, each school rep resent ing an at t emp t t o keep
t he Buddha’ s t eaching s al ive under new ci rcumst ances.
Living org ani sms need t o chang e and g row. By
resp ect ing t he di fferences wi t hin our own church and
seeing how t hese di fferences enrich one anot her, we are
more op en t o ap p reciat ing t he richness and diversi t y of
ot her t radi t ions.
In a t rue dialog ue, bot h sides are wi l l ing t o chang e.
W e have t o ap p reciat e t hat t rut h can be received from
out side of—not only wi t hin—our own g roup . If we do
not bel ieve t hat , ent ering int o dialog ue would be a wast e
of t ime. If we t hink we monop ol iz e t he t rut h and we
st i l l org aniz e a dialog ue, i t i s not aut hent ic. W e have t o
bel ieve t hat by eng ag ing in dialog ue wi t h t he ot her
p erson, we have t he p ossibi l i t y of making a chang e
wi t hin ourselves, t hat we can become deep er . Dialog ue
i s not a means for assimi lat ion in t he sense t hat one side
ex p ands and incorp orat es t he ot her int o i t s “ sel f.”
Dialog ue must be p ract iced on t he basi s of “ non-sel f.”
W e have t o al low what i s g ood, beaut i ful , and
meaning ful in t he ot her’s t radi t ion t o t ransform us.
But t he most basic p rincip le of int erfai t h dialog ue i s
t hat t he dialog ue must beg in, fi rst of al l , wi t hin onesel f.
Our cap aci t y t o make p eace wi t h anot her p erson and
wi t h t he world dep ends very much on our cap aci t y t o
make p eace wi t h ourselves. If we are at war wi t h our
p arent s, our fami ly, our societ y, or our church, t here i s
p robably a war g oing on inside us al so, so t he most
basic work for p eace i s t o ret urn t o ourselves and creat e
harmony among t he element s wi t hin us—our feel ing s,
our p ercep t ions, and our ment al st at es. That i s why t he
p ract ice of medi t at ion, looking deep ly, i s so imp ort ant .
W e must recog niz e and accep t t he confl ict ing element s
t hat are wi t hin us and t hei r underly ing causes. It t akes
t ime, but t he effort alway s bears frui t . When we have
p eace wi t hin, real dialog ue wi t h ot hers i s p ossible.
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